As I contemplate the significance of certain minor projects I sometimes like to engage in, I often find myself abandoning them, leaving them in forgotten corners both physically and mentally. When I take a closer, detached look at these items, the question arises within me: Does this hold any value?
This introspection ends in a flood of thoughts and feelings of guilt. Our conditioning leads us to perceive that only creations or actions with the potential for transferable, immediate value are truly worthwhile. This perspective is the reason behind people abandoning hobbies or never taking any: they struggle to see the monetary worth in such pursuits.
Growing older made this unfortunate, contemporary reality even bolder. Moreover, I frequently catch myself trading minutes between tasks and measuring my hours or days with an uncharacteristic sense of frugality.
This implies that we strip away a part of ourselves, diminishing our innate worth as cosmic entities that shape the realities of others through our mere existence. Creation unfolds constantly, occurring within every fleeting moment, regardless of whether the process is tangible or ethereal. Conscious or not, the creation process is perpetual. And that implies that we are, at no point, worthless even when we are not building something worthwhile or tangible.
After moments of silent reflection upon my former free-spirited self, I guide myself back to a state where I have the liberty to be “inefficient” with my time. I afford myself freedoms like painting and writing and walking slowly and without an obvious purpose or destination. I allow the veils of my eyes to gently shut, simply existing in the present moment. I just AM.
This could potentially bring me nearer to the path of rediscovering my enlightened liberated essence and maybe, just maybe, one day, one or more, or many, will follow.
THE WONDERMIND 