Almost every day, I am encountering people who struggle and can’t seem to find their way out of the dark sphere they’ve entered. Be it a close friend, a relative or one of my clients, I identified similar emotions in their experience.
Feeling anxious and afraid.
Can we all relate to this? Do you ever feel as if there is no way out of what seems to be your darkest night?
What should one know or do when stress has taken over their lives and minds, while everything else gets out of place? Where do we find the divine inspiration, that sparkle that could lift us up?
As I mentioned in other posts of mine, I have anxiety for few years now. It started with my grandmother’s death and it has not left me since.
My day-to-day job has not helped me much in recovering and I didn’t take the time to nurture and heal myself. I have had days when the clouds above my mind seemed like they will never unveil the Sun.
Bad is an understatement for what I feel sometimes.
But now, I have certainties. I know that there are ways to overcome stress, anxiety and worryiness.
Simple reflections on life can help us accept who we are and embrace the diversity of our sentiments.
It is not about running away or contradicting their effect, but it’s about letting them consume us until we are set free.
It is important for us, as individuals, and for our surroundings, to learn how to heal ourselves from within and to understand the way our emotions work. Otherwise, we carry undefined pain that will strike in the core of our loved one, of the people we work with or the random passerby we meet in the day-to-day life.
I have seem far too many times how the customers of the airline I work for, get extremely rude and overdemanding, verbally abusive towards the people who would only try to serve them or help them. These people who we will qualify as bad, are actually miserable, misunderstood or abused spirits that know no better at that moment because they’ve seen no better in the past. They need all the nurture and support. But if they would choose to be self-reflective, they would know how to best address their issues, without feeling that they have to go into war with every other person they meet.
After we have met on common grounds and decided that we share some emotions, I want you to really tap into yourself and allow these simple reflections I have put down, to help you in your search for meaning.
1. Feeling Drained is Normal.
Let’s be honest!
The world is getting faster, technology takes a lot of our time (what a paradox), the art of conversation is slowly dying, and we are constantly bombarded by news of how some other people are “swaying life” while we try to make ends meet.
Surely, these thoughts alone are exhausting, not to mention if we have added up worries like searching for a new job, going through a break-up, preparing children through their school years, taking care of a sick family member etc. You name it! Stress takes a different meaning for everyone.
What I am trying to highlight here is that we all experience different levels of physical exhaustion or mental stress and we shouldn’t shy away from it. While robots are there to declutter parts of our lives and all the technology can be powered up and get the job done, we are humans. And we limp. And we break. And we feel miserable. And I think that is perfectly OK. Emotion is part of our beauty.
I want you to understand that your struggle is real and that you are entitled to go through bad days. Just as nature has its seasons, so do you.
2. Getting Through Each Day is Important.
If after spending days in bed, contemplating the awfulness and the wonderfulness of the lazy times, you manage to put together a colorful breakfast, then that is something to be celebrated.
I still go through anxious days when I am not only physically exhausted, but I can’t seem to focus and to articulate my thoughts. In such days of sudden despair or sadness, I try to redirect my attention on doing small chores that could keep my mind occupied. And slowly, I manage to pull myself together and proceed to doing elevated tasks.
Every single day is a blessing! And we get to maintain the feelings of gratitude only if we choose to do so.
3. Not All your Thoughts Are Real.
We associate ourselves with our mind. We think we are all those tangled thoughts that run though us like sudden winds.
In 2005, the National Science Foundation published an article regarding research about human thoughts per day. The average person has about 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day. Of those, 80% are negative and 95% are exactly the same repetitive thoughts as the day before.
Simply put: we are not our mind. We are a mere observer of mind activity.
We are not our brain, we are a product of our brain.
Knowing all these facts, you can now observe what are those negative talks from inside your brain and you can find solutions to rewire yourself.
4. You Matter. See the Bigger Picture.
We all have expectations from ourselves and feel disappointed when very little has been accomplished.
We set up a time frame and we start the race without even observing our circumstances.
On the way, exhaustion sets in and it seems that some other people are going ahead for the big prize.
Is this familiar for you?
Have you ever put yourself through such races?
I have. More than once. Every time I ended up hurting myself because I felt that only those who come to the finish line are worthy of praise and love and recognition.
But not very long time back I understood that not everyone has the same START.
And if I am far behind, that doesn’t make my journey less valuable.
Seeing the bigger picture helps us understand our uniqueness and our personal contribution to the benefit of humanity.
In those days when you feel unworthy and less accomplished, please, remind yourself that your simple presence affects the world in ways you may never be aware of. You are as needed as anyone else who might seem to do bigger things. You are part of a complex puzzle, a key person who has a defined task in this universal game we play.
Believe in the magic of this global network we are living in.
5. Things Do Clear Up Over Time.
My whole life I struggled with defining the things that matter to me and the things that I needed to grow.
I would always change my mind and go back to past choices thinking that my present choices do not serve me.. In my very young age, everything seemed extremely confusing and it was rather painful to see that while others seem to easily find their way, I always get tangled in life choices.
This happens to some of the people I know and it can last for a big part of their life or they can go through a season only. However it is, it can be debilitating for anyone.
In NLP ( Neuro-Linguistic Programming) one of our main goals is to help people to tell the difference between:
I want you to look at all these 5 words and try to make up a definition of what each of them means for you.
Why am I asking you this?
Because you will understand that a lot of the stress you carry on your shoulders comes from the fact that you confuse mere opinions with Core Beliefs or the with the Truth.
You take in a lot of pain trying to argue over things that matter so little.
Once you can be honest about who you are and what defines you, you will find answers that you have been looking for your entire life.
It is important to understand that there is a time for everything to happen and we can welcome it by relaxing our spirit and body and bring in some peace of mind.
6. Taking Responsibility for Your Life is Releasing.
Part of our life is about discovering ourselves and understanding what are those self-inflicted beliefs that hold us from attaining our goals.
Taking responsibility for you’re the way your life unveils might have a bitter taste at the beginning, but this acknowledgment grows in you strength and courage to pursue things that matter.
From early age, we heard so many stories about who we are supposed to be. While that is not completely bad, I believe that nothing is more wonderful and more rewarding that to insanely run after the REAL YOU .
This is a truth that has released me from the anger I felt deep inside me.
I stopped blaming my parents, my school, the city where I was born, my degree, the government and all the other things that at a certain moment were responsible for my failures.
Accepting that we are the Alchemists of our lives and that we transform it in any way we wish, is an empowering, courageous choice.
7. Simple Pleasures Bring Great Benefits.
Who are you when no one is looking?
Well, be more of that whenever you feel the need to. No one is going to love you more than you can love yourself. Isn’t that a good thing to think about?
It is essential not only to surround yourself with loving people, but to gift yourself tender moments. If for you, that is changing the sheets, baking a pie, going for a walk in the park, writing in your journal, going for a massage, draw, cook, sew etc. then do more of that. Or do it as often as you can.
What is life for if not for things that make us a little happier, a little warmer or at least a little less lonelyy?
8. Being Alive Is a Gift.
I invite you to look at yourself in the mirror. Observe how your eyes are perfectly melting into your cheeks, how lively your expression is and how the corners of your lips are going up and down, creating meaning and transmitting emotions.
You may have few wrinkles, few white hairs or a whole head of snowy waves.
This is you – you are all the people you loved, all the stories you read and lived, all the trains you took, all the rains you cried, all the bad and good choices, the failures and the exciting moments.
On your forehead all tangled paths are written, your glowing eyes telling you about all the wonderful sunsets they have witnessed.
What is more beautiful than to be alive in days when we still have a sunsets and rising moon? When journeys are to take and people to meet and beautiful stories to live?
I ask you: What is more beautiful than knowing that your presence here counts and that your simple walk keeps the Universe balanced?
Life is as wonderful as we choose.
So whenever you feel your struggle, here are your reminders:
You are entitled to have bad days and you should give yourself time to recover.
Do little tasks until you are ready to face the versatility of life again.
Not all your thoughts are real.
You matter. Your presence here is required by a Higher Intelligence.
Things will get clear once you decide to be honest with yourself.
Taking responsibility for the choices you make is empowering.
Treat yourself with kindness and love.
No matter how bad some days are, life is still a wonderful gift.
I hope this has been an inspirational reading for you. I truly wish you the best today and always and let’s not forget that we are sharing this wonderful Earth for a little while so let’s make the best of it.
Need more inspiration?
Here’s one the best playlists to boost your day :
Live The Best Life,