Slow Down

Sometimes, the tap on the shoulder does not work. The small talks, the sympathetic gestures, the motivational materials and the mere presence of people, can cause a great deal of frustration.

A few years back, after juggling with work, stress and health issues all at the same time, I found myself plunged into a period of terrible anger. I was angry at everything and everyone.
But I was, mostly, really angry at myself. For all the things done or not done. I treated harshly my already broken self.

I vividly recall a random day at the grocery store, rushing my cart through the aisles like a complete nut. Terribly displeased, I felt like there is no time ever for anything; that thought alone would make me rush and stress even more.
And in that chaos that was in my head, in that uninviting disposition, I clearly heard a voice saying “Slow Down”. It was my own voice but it somehow wasn’t.
Very faint and almost lost in some other 30.000 thoughts battling each other, this voice made its way to me – this beautiful, loving voice.

I don’t really remember if I slowed down that day but I do know that I kept this “Slow down” near me.
When there is nothing to do, nowhere to go and no room for immediate change, when things don’t go my way or I don’t even know which way I am going, when I feel all the feelings that can possibly be felt, all at once, and I get myself exhausted… I just slow down.
I move gently through the air, feel everything I touch, and take a close look at my surroundings, allowing each moment to unfold.
I pour myself cups of tea and allow my nostrils to indulge in their balmy smell.
I play soft music and cushion myself between my pillows. I get a book which I may or may not read.
I perhaps, won’t even bother much about anything at all.
For just a day, I will choose to only be.