During my formative years and even later, I was frequently referred to as a “unicorn hunter.” While I didn’t pay much attention to this label at the time, I now realize that it was not intended as a compliment and that people around me simply didn’t seem to get me. Additionally, I was often told that I would change my ways over time, but I am beginning to understand that change is a complex and multifaceted process.
Throughout my life, I’ve carried something I call “the flip side.” It’s essentially the unfiltered version of my online journals—the raw essence of who I am.
Sometimes I wish I could simplify, have just two layers, maybe three at most. Not ten. Not a hundred.
I long to stroll down the street without constantly, unintentionally, scanning my surroundings, to stop engaging with the squirrels, the sky, and everything else only I perceive. I yearn to walk straight, with a singular focus, like a bullet to the grocery store, mindlessly grabbing milk, bread, and other essentials without distraction. To smile politely at the cashier. To see the world in a two-dimensional way, devoid of complexity. I also desire to only see what people choose to show me initially. I wish not to delve beneath their layers, easily uncovering what they conceal from both me and the world. I yearn to be spared from sensing your loneliness, your turmoil, your uncertainty—the void and the endless queries your mind spins. I wish not to bear the weight of these emotions as if they were my own.
Do you know what else I yearn for? I wish I had a linear perspective—simple, dual, and clear. I wish I had wished for the somewhat attainable: possessions mostly and well-being for all I know and love. Yet, I consistently chose the less-traveled path, the one everyone would warn me against. Even when I was penniless and my preservation instincts should have guided me toward safety, I sought “meaning” over everything else. Substance. Nothing was straightforward; everything had to loop back, leading to intense, heart-wrenching experiences. Sometimes, I wish my biggest concern was simply keeping up with my neighbors—to not, for once, be labeled as the dreamer, the idealist, the “unicorn hunter”.
THE WONDERMIND 